Saying No Around the Holidays is Really Saying Yes

In the past few years, I have gotten pretty good at saying no to things around the holidays, if need be.

Granted, I am not saying no to EVERYTHING. I am, however, mindfully saying no to things that I know are going to sap me, my family, or both. To me, it's all a conversation about energy. So much of our energy around the holidays is outward-directed; we are engaging with others a lot more, we are social, we are out and about. We may really enjoy it, or we may feel like we are on autopilot and can't stop the holiday treadmill insanity. In the process, we can be come depleted really easily. There are so many people we want to engage with, but there often isn't enough time for everyone. We do our best, but sometimes we feel bad, because we want to give more and do more, but there is only so much of us to go around. There is a limited supply of energy all the time, but especially this time of year.

 You can say no sometimes around the holidays and just just sit and look at your Christmas tree. 

So, we need to become more cautious about what we do with our energy. Does saying yes feel like an obligation rather than something you will enjoy? Does saying no feel freeing? Saying no to getting together with other people, to social obligations, or to hosting events you might normally host—and then telling people that you just don't have the energy—is ok. I am giving you permission to slow down, say no, check out, hang out, do very little as possible other than relax and enjoy yourself. It makes room for spontaneity, too, if you suddenly change our mind and want to engage with other humans. Saying no, in this way, becomes saying yes to yourself and your immediate loved ones. It's saying yes to sitting in front of the Christmas tree with a glass of something festive, doing nothing, one weeknight in December. It's saying yes to watching It's a Wonderful Life for the umpteenth time. It's saying yes to having time to watch the snow fall and then bundling up for a brisk walk in it. It's saying yes to your mental health. If you say yes to attending or hosting things you simply can't muster the energy for, everything suffers. If you are cooking, the food will suffer, too. The whole prep process will be fraught with stress and anxiety. And that bad energy transfers to other people. A kitchen full of stressballs is not a fun place to be. 

In the last couple of years, we have become pretty good at saying no to things that we can't accomplish or do during the fraught, loaded holiday season, and saying "Let's get together in January," and then actually doing it. One of our strategies about the holidays, in order to avoid the inevitable bummer that January sometimes becomes, is to turn the whole perspective upside down and inside out. My husband launches his "January is awesome" campaign every year. We plan fun things to do in January, after the stress of the holidays has passed. And we make time for the reflection and quiet that inevitably surface in January. Incidentally, it is why some people don't like January and it depresses them. (Low Vitamin D levels might have something to do with that, too). To, me, it is a big blessing. It's a time to recharge. It's permission to re-evaluate, and take stock, think, dream and plan. 

So go ahead, say no to something. You can even start small. That's probably more manageable. If you do it, will you leave a comment here, please? That's something you can say yes to, right? Please tell me how it went. How did it feel?  

Friday Favorites: The Natural Sleep Remedy Edition

Sleep, it can be so elusive, yet it is so important. Our Western lifestyle prides itself on going at full speed, with lots of caffeine and very few breaks. This runs counter to how we in the Dharma Kitchen feel best. (Those of you who say pish-posh to sleep, that you can sleep when you're dead—you're the ones I worry about. Hmm.) There is so much to be regained when we sleep, but the most important thing for me is the direct impact it has on your immune system. From what I have read, interruptions in sleep mean reductions in immune response. And from what I have seen in my own life, it's absolutely true. I say this not to put extra pressure on you if you or make you feel even more stressed out if you aren't sleeping well. It's just to say, well, we've had our issues, sleep and I. I'm with you. They are surmountable. They are not permanent. This, too, shall pass. 

I'm just sharing with you what has worked for me and those I know and love. I am not a doctor nor an herbalist; please consult a doctor, chiropractor, naturopath, herbalist, whatever self-care medium works best for you. I've had a long haul to discover what's been interfering with my sleep. If you are having issues, whether they are intermittent or chronic, you owe it to yourself to take it seriously. And I cross my fingers that have a physician or other wellness providers who can take your problem seriously, too, and not just throw a script for Ambien at you, which may be a temporary Band-Aid but possibly not a long-term integrative solution. I went through a series of adrenal and thyroid hormone testing before we determined what was affecting me, and I sought the wise counsel of my doctor and the herbal experts at Nature's Way in Easton. 

Some of these may provide a more immediate response than others; some of these ideas are more systemic and will likely require a more long-term use before you start to feel different when your head hits the pillow. (My favorite? Valerian, which I wrote about in a different blog post.) The first thing you can do, and this is so obvious that I can't believe I didn't think of it, is to set your intention for a good night's sleep but be open to whatever surfaces. 

1. First and foremost, try to turn off or lower the lights and shut off all screens at least an hour before bed. Don't watch anything overly violent or stimulating. It's just going to make it difficult for your body's sleep hormones do their work. I find that reading has been the most consistent, helpful thing, when I feel like I've got the attention span for it. I prefer to read things that are positive and uplifting; I just finished the new Elizabeth Gilbert book Big Magic. It sets me off to bed in a good frame of mind. 

2. If you've got some manner of muscular issue keeping you up, whether it's keyed up shoulders or a sore psoas from yoga class or whatever you do, chewable Cal-Mags can help. I often give them to the boys when they are a little too keyed up at night. Many of us are deficient in calcium and magnesium; especially if you are drinking coffee or tea, which inhibits absorption of such nutrients. (Oh yeah, this goes without saying; cut back on your caffeine...but if you are smart you already know this.) I get mine through Shaklee, an absolutely phenomenal natural nutrition company whose products have changed my health and that of my family, for the better. 

3. Any kind of meditation or any pranayama (control of the breath) will do wonders to change your breathing and stimulate your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps us relax. It may not happen overnight, but the benefits are there. There are tons of meditation apps out there and lots of different ways to approach it, but for end-of-the-day winding down, I like Jennifer Reis and Yoga Nidra/Divine Sleep. You can download or purchase a CD and listen to it before bed. (It's not yoga in the hatha/asana sense.) And if you fall asleep during the meditation, that's kind of the whole point. You still feel the benefits of the meditation. It all sinks in—it's sneaky that way. Some people like to meditate in the morning, and I used to do be that way, but I find it's more effective for me to practice at night right now. (Instead, I like to practice what Dana Velden calls a "tea meditation.")

4. Epsom salt baths. These are one of my secret weapons. I try to get a good soak in at least once a week. Epsom salt baths are so healing, detoxifying and restorative. I like DIY blends that combine herbs, essential oils, sea salt and/or baking soda. (If you're feeling a little under the weather, Epsom salt baths are great for that too.) When I do, I invariably sleep better. The key is to soak in the tub with the lights off and candles lit, because it signals to your body that it's time to start producing melatonin. Stumble out of the bath, dry off, put on something warm and comforting and shuffle off to bed. Do not pass go. Do not turn on more lights. Do not look at your phone. 

Lavender and epsom salt, perfect together. I added a couple of drops of my Young Living Lavender Oil, too.

5. More tinctures and teas! I like this tincture from our friends at porTchtea, as it combines hops (so no, it ain't gluten free) and apple cider vinegar. Don DeVault, the inspired farmer behind these creations, also makes tea bags you can toss into the bath (a curious experiment; I mix mine with Epsom salts) and teas with language that balances cheeky and nurturing; not an easy vibe to pull off. I'm also a big fan of porTchtea's Bongwater Dog Blend, which encourages you to "Chill out. Be Happy." Lately, this is my go-to before bed. This one has chamomile, valerian, St. John's wort and more. It also manages to taste good, which is not something you can always say for herbal teas blended for a more therapeutic benefit.

The Bedside Bottle tincture and Bongwater Dogs Blend, from porTchtea. 

Amaranth Crepes with Pomegranate Syrup

Ayurveda is the sister science to yoga, and it's long been a fascination of mine. I've learned a bit on my own and from various yoga teachers. The idea of Ayurveda is that we all have a unique constitution, prone to our own individual imbalances. And those imbalances are what can, if left unchecked, throw our health into a bit of a tailspin, whether it's minor things like viruses and colds, or much larger, systemic challenges. Broadly speaking, humans fall into three categories: vata, pitta and kapha, each with their own optimal list of foods, along with ones they should steer clear of. You can be a vata with a vata imbalance, or a pitta with a kapha tendencies; there are sub-doshas, too. (If you want to find out where you might fall in those three categories, check out this dosha quiz from the Chopra Center.)  The first time I had someone assess my constitution, so many things started to make sense to me. For example, I'm mostly pitta, and it's the more fiery dosha, which means I should steer clear of spicy foods (I don't like them, so there's that) and move toward cooling foods (like cucumbers, which I love love love.) With knowledge, you gain awareness and bringing that mindfulness to what you eat integrates almost effortlessly (at least for me) with the asana part of yoga practice.

The Essential Ayurvedic Cookbook by Lois Leonhardi, a Certified Ayurveda Practitioner, came out earlier this month. I like it because it gives you extensive background, enough to get you acclimated and provide a basic understanding of Ayurveda. The recipes are geared toward specific constitutions, but then she also tells you how to adapt if you are, say, Vata or Pitta. There are some recipes that are tridoshic, or good for all three doshas. The doshas also correspond to seasons of the year (we're in fall, which is vata, moving toward kapha, which is winter and spring), times of day and time of life. Among many other things, Ayurveda provides a way of thinking about food and health, with a bit of a learning curve—but that's the fun part, right? I, for one, really enjoy the balance she's struck here with these crepes. 

Courtesy of The Essential Ayurvedic Cookbook by Lois Leonhardi © 2015 www.robertrose.ca Reprinted with publisher permission. Available where books are sold.

Amaranth Crepes with Pomegranate Syrup

Have fun making these. Smaller crêpes will be easier to flip, but will be more difficult to fold due to the inflexibility of the gluten-free batter. The first crêpe may be a disaster, but don’t fret; it doesn’t count. Use it to contemplate how to modify your technique so you can create future crêpes of higher quality. Note that it is difficult to have wafer-thin crêpes using gluten-free flour, so set your expectations accordingly. The coolness of the amaranth, milk and cardamom will balance the warmth of the eggs for pitta. Kapha can eat these in moderation. Gluten free, soy free and vegetarian.

Makes two 10-inch (25 cm) crêpes

Tips

The astringency of the amaranth flour and pomegranate syrup is balanced by the sweet rice flour, coconut milk and butter.

The lemon zest and cinnamon mellow the strong flavor of the amaranth flour.

Using butter or ghee will give the crêpe a caramel taste and help with browning; this will be lost if you substitute oil.

You can double the recipe so you have extra batter on hand. Leftover batter can be stored in the refrigerator for up to 3 days, but the amaranth flavor starts to overwhelm the spices with each passing day.

Ingredients

• 10-inch (25-cm) cast-iron skillet (or crêpe pan)
• 1  large egg                     
• 1  large egg yolk                
• 1⁄2 cup (125 mL) coconut milk (or cow’s, almond or soy milk)
• 2 tsp. (10 mL)  pomegranate syrup
• 2 tsp. (10 mL) grated lemon zest
• 2 T. (30 mL) amaranth flour, sifted 
• 2 T. (30 mL) brown rice flour, sifted, or almond flour
• 1 tsp. (5 mL) ground cinnamon (no substitutes)
  
• 1⁄2 tsp. (2 mL) ground cardamom (no substitutes) 
• 1⁄8 tsp. (0.5 mL) Himalayan salt   
• 2 tsp. (10 mL) butter or ghee, melted 

Instructions

In a medium bowl, whisk egg and egg yolk until frothy. Add coconut milk, pomegranate syrup and lemon zest, whisking until combined. Add amaranth flour, brown rice flour, cinnamon, cardamom, salt and butter, whisking until batter is thin and smooth. Cover and let set for 10 minutes in the refrigerator.

Meanwhile, preheat oven to 200°F (100°C).

Remove batter from refrigerator and whisk briefly.

Heat the skillet over medium heat. When a drop of batter placed on the pan sizzles, you are ready to cook. Lift the pan off the burner and pour in a thin layer of batter (about 1⁄4 cup/60 mL). Gently tilt the skillet in a circular motion to spread the batter evenly across the bottom. Return the pan to the heat and patiently wait. When the bottom is done, you will see a change in color and the crêpe will easily lift from the pan. Test it by running a spatula around the edges. When the spatula easily slides under the center of the crêpe (about 2 to 3 minutes), it is time to flip. Flip the crêpe and cook for 30 seconds on the second side. Transfer crêpe to a plate and place in preheated oven while preparing the other crêpe.

Serving Suggestion: 

Top with pomegranate syrup, Vata Plum Compote, seasonal berries, yogurt, whipped cream or raw honey. Garnish with mint leaves, pomegranate seeds, sifted ground cinnamon or lemon wedges.

Courtesy of The Essential Ayurvedic Cookbook by Lois Leonhardi © 2015 www.robertrose.ca Reprinted with publisher permission. Available where books are sold.